Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Within the past week God has shown me 4 majorly sobering realities. The first was the destiny of my future child. He began showing me things after a very important intercession session on May 22. Me? Birth a child? I am REALLY hearing my child’s destiny before he is born? WHAT??? In the words of Marty McFly: “Whoa, Doc, this is heavy”.

Another reality concerned the magnitude of the importance of choosing my husband. It’s not just finding a cutie patootie that would be super nice to me and a great dad for our kids. He REALLY has to be the right father for my children. He will also be the LEADER for our whole family. I can’t do any of the dad jobs, I can only do the mom jobs. That child won’t be THAT child unless he is THAT man. Kind of big, right.

Then only a few short days later the third reality hit me: The pastor of my church won’t live on Earth forever. He will move on to his new life in Heaven with God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and all the believers before us. Sounds great, right? Ok, come back to this planet with me now. ONE OF US WILL BE THE LEADER!!! REALLY??? Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends but WOAH!!! I assume our pastor’s son will be the next pastor but that’s a lot of responsibility for our generation as a whole too. I know this might not make sense but just follow me. I didn’t have the “luxury” of knowing all my pastor’s flaws before he started the church. However, I DO KNOW the dirt on my friends and I am CERTIANLY aware of the TOTAL depravity of my own life. I have thought about us as being leaders before but I had not actually pictured it WITHOUT SAM. What??? Can this even happen? Yes, absolutely. Sam is not our Jesus. Jesus has been appointing and anointing leaders for centuries now but this is US. WHAT??? In an undisclosed about of time from now my generation will be the leaders. WE ARE THE NEW US. Life just got REAL serious REAL fast.

The last event and by far the biggest perception altering news in my life took place the next day. I received a call from my mom that something had happened to my brother. She reported that he was ok but the reality of the severity of the situation was almost unreal to me. The night before this experience I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible feeling about my brother. I don’t remember the dream that caused it but I remember praying a short prayer that any and all curses and evil plots concerning my brother would be broken in the name of Jesus. Picturing shrapnel being removed from my baby brother’s body makes God’s divine protection REAL to me. God is amazing.

After I text my pastor to tell Him I received, via text, the most powerful confirmation of my life. It was one of those moments that you know you will never be the same again. God is POWERFUL but He needs ABSOLUTELY ALL OF US! My mind started blowing up about all the things that seemed huge the day before but now seemed absolutely pointless. My hands are shaking as I type this. God’s power is REAL. I know I keep using that word but it is just SO REAL to me now. I began praying further about all the dreams I have had in the past few weeks. I even called some of the people I have been dreaming about to tell them the dreams. I believe more than ever that God is giving me these dreams because He is wanting the powers and plans of Hell to be broken on this Earth. I can see the similarities in young David’s destiny and my generation’s destiny. I want to be used at maximum capacity so God’s Kingdom can be known. But in my situation I am both David and the on-lookers. I am like the on-lookers in the sense that I look at myself and say, “Her??? REALLY???” Sometimes I think, “I am the worst candidate to be a vessel to fulfill God’s plan’s.” But if I can be used, I want to be used more than anything. Which brings be to the similarity between David and me; I know I am inadequate but SOMEBODY has to do this. And I can attest that regardless if I fail or succeed I will keep showing up for the job. If grad school taught me nothing else, it taught me that thousands (of grade points) may fall at my side me but nothing can get in the way of me and God getting what He wants. Nothing.

There is only one thing left to say: “Let’s finish this thing.”

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